Holiday Stress: How to Manage Anxiety, Depression, andTrauma-Related Symptoms

The holiday season is often depicted as a joyful time filled with family gatherings, festive meals, and laughter. Yet, for many who have experienced trauma or are dealing with mental health conditions like depression and anxiety the holidays can bring heightened stress and emotional turmoil. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) about 24% of people with diagnosed mental illnesses find the holidays make their symptoms “a lot” worse and 40% “somewhat” worse.”

For individuals dealing with trauma, anxiety, or depression, the holidays can amplify feelings of isolation, anxiety, and sadness. Here is a closer look at why this season can be particularly challenging and some practical strategies for coping.

Why the Holidays Can Be Difficult

Triggering memories:

Holiday traditions, family gatherings, and sensory stimuli—like certain sights, sounds, or smells—can revive memories of past traumas, leading to emotional distress.

High expectations:

Societal pressure to feel joyous and celebratory can create feelings of inadequacy for those struggling with mental health issues, exacerbating anxiety and depression.

Social isolation:

Many people with trauma may avoid social events due to anxiety, which can intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Disrupted routines:

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can disrupt daily routines that are essential for managing mental health, leading to increased instability.

Family conflict:

Family gatherings can bring unresolved conflicts to the surface, triggering anxiety and depression in those already vulnerable.

Financial pressure:

The expectation to give gifts can create additional stress, especially for those already facing financial difficulties.

5 Ways to Cope this Holiday Season

As tempting as it may be to abandon your coping strategies during the festive season, maintaining them is crucial for your well-being. It’s natural to want a reprieve from coping, but when we set aside our coping skills, we often only realize in hindsight how much our symptoms have worsened. Here are some effective ways to navigate the holidays while managing trauma, anxiety, or depression:

Setting Boundaries

Identify which events are manageable for you and prioritize self-care by saying no to gatherings that may be overwhelming or triggering. For example, if you’ve been invited to a family gathering where an abuser will be present, consider whether attending might trigger trauma-related symptoms. If so, your boundary could be to either skip the event or let them know you'd like to attend only if that person is not there.

Maintain a Sleep Routine

Sleep is vital for managing trauma-related symptoms and emotional regulation. Gathering at another family member’s home can disrupt your sleep schedule. When this happens, you might feel less safe, triggering a response from your nervous system. This can lead to heightened trauma responses such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, along with increased restlessness, irritability, or anger throughout the day. For those with a history of trauma, maintaining coping routines is essential for feeling grounded.

To prepare for these changes, consider planning ahead to minimize the impact of disrupted sleep on your mood by creating a sleep-friendly environment during holiday visits – bring your favorite pillow, set alarms for winding down, and prioritize rest.

Practice Relaxation Techniques:

Incorporate mindfulness or deep breathing into your routine. These skills can help you manage anxiety and emotional overwhelm. Practice these skills in the days or even weeks leading up to the holidays to help your body learn to self-soothe when anxiety arises. If you start to feel overwhelmed during the holiday season, try the quick and discreet technique below—those around you are unlikely to notice you using it.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Technique

As you complete each step, you will notice and mentally describe things around you by focusing on your senses.

• Sight - Notice 5 things you see around you.

• Touch - Notice 4 things you can physically feel (e.g., like the chair you are sitting in)

• Hear - Notice 3 things you hear

• Smell - Notice 2 things you smell

• Taste - Pop something in your mouth and focus on what you taste.

Practice Self-compassion

Acknowledge that it’s okay to not feel festive. Allow yourself time for self-care and activities that bring you joy. Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing emotions or traumatic memories. Write about your feelings, both positive and negative, and approach yourself with kindness. Remind yourself that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions during this time.

As you write, let your emotions and memories flow freely, and remember to be kind and compassionate to yourself. Consider how you would speak to a friend in a similar situation what would you say to them? You might express something like, “It’s okay to feel this way given what you’ve been through. You are safe now, and it’s natural to feel hurt or anxious when recalling painful times.” Jot down these thoughts and remind yourself of them when you feel overwhelmed.

Connect with Supportive People

Reach out to friends or family who understand your struggles and provide emotional support. Spending time with supportive individuals can help alleviate feelings of isolation. Set a goal to connect at least once a week, whether through a casual meal or a cozy movie night. If your feelings become overwhelming, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor to develop coping strategies tailored to your needs.

Conclusion

While the holiday season can be challenging for those with trauma, anxiety, or depression, employing coping strategies can help ease stress and promote emotional well-being. By setting boundaries, maintaining routines, practicing relaxation, showing self-compassion, and connecting with supportive individuals, you can navigate this season more mindfully and meaningfully. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health, and seeking help is a sign of strength.