Building Your Resiliency: How to Bounce Back Stronger

Resiliency is our ability to manage crises or distress and quickly return to a state of balance. It means effectively handling stressors because we have the right coping tools and resources to bounce back swiftly. Reflect for a moment on the last crisis you faced—how long did it take you to feel like yourself again? If you managed a quick turnaround and got back on track, you showed strong resiliency. Conversely, if you struggled for weeks, months, or even years, it might indicate areas where your resiliency could be strengthened.

Building resiliency isn’t just about enduring tough times; it’s about thriving despite them. Here are 10 strategies to help you build and strengthen your resiliency:

1. Journaling: Journaling is a powerful tool for building resilience as it helps us process our feelings and experiences. By getting upsets, thoughts, and worries onto paper, you can see situations more clearly and reduce their emotional weight. This practice allows you to move past crises more quickly and return to your baseline state. Online prompts can provide helpful ideas and guidance if you’re unsure where to start.

2. Create a Support System: Having a network of supportive individuals can greatly enhance your resiliency. Talking things out with friends, family members, or co-workers can offer perspective and support. Connecting with a therapist or participating in online support groups, or community organizations can provide additional help. Building a robust support system helps you work through challenges and bounce back more quickly.

3. Take Care of Your Basic Needs: Meeting your fundamental needs is crucial for maintaining resilience. Pay attention to cues that might make you more upset, such as hunger, fatigue, or illness. If you're hungry, grab a snack or meal. If you're tired, take a break. If you're feeling sick, see a doctor and take time off if needed. Addressing these basic needs helps you manage stress better and stay resilient.

4. Notice Your Self-Talk: Your internal dialogue plays a significant role in how you handle stress. Negative self-talk can undermine your resiliency, while positive and compassionate self-talk can enhance it. Notice when you have self-critical thoughts and challenge them. Consider what a friend or family member might say to you in your situation and write those supportive statements down. Daily, jot down 3-5 things you like about yourself. Use affirmative statements like, “I am not as bad as I think I am,” to foster self-compassion.

5. Manage Impulses: Resilient people still experience impulses, but they manage them effectively. Listen to the voice that reminds you that the urge will pass. Ask yourself, “If I give in to this impulse, will it make things worse?” Unhelpful impulses might include sabotaging relationships by starting fights, engaging in overspending, overeating, or using substances. By recognizing and managing these impulses, you can avoid actions that undermine your resilience.

6. Grow Your Coping Skills: Expanding your coping skills helps you handle stress more effectively. Regularly practice helpful techniques, not just in crisis situations. Some strategies to consider include yoga, journaling, deep breathing exercises, the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), distress tolerance exercises (like using ice), compassionate self-talk, spending time outdoors, and engaging in pleasant activities. These tools help you develop a coping toolbox making you more resilient when crises arise.

7. Learn How to Problem Solve: Overcoming obstacles is uncomfortable but rewarding. Effective problem-solving prevents issues from overwhelming you and helps you maintain your composure. Start by working backwards from the desired solution, and develop 5-10 helpful skills to use daily. These skills act as a reserve of resilience, making it easier to handle future challenges.

8. Set Goals: Goals provide direction and motivation. Simply saying, “I want to get better,” is not specific enough. Set clear, actionable goals in various areas of your life, such as travel, relationships, work/school, and home improvements. Create smaller, achievable steps for each goal, like “I will go outdoors three times this week to improve my mood.” Regularly review and adjust your goals to stay on track and measure your progress.

9. Live with Purpose: Having a sense of purpose gives you motivation and resilience. Engage in activities that matter to you, whether it’s raising awareness for a cause, joining a sports team, or participating in a book club. Choose activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and make time for them regularly.

10. Become Friends with Your Feelings: Understanding and accepting your emotions is essential for resilience. Track your emotions daily using a feelings chart or journal. Write down 3-5 emotions you experience each day and describe them in detail. This practice helps you become more in tune with your feelings, making it easier to manage them.

Building resiliency is an ongoing process, and setbacks are a natural part of life. By incorporating these strategies into your routine, you can strengthen your ability to bounce back from adversity and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease. Embrace the journey of developing resilience, and you'll find yourself better equipped to handle whatever comes your way.